2x8the woman in the asylum
by dotty dru
Summary: Brennan and Booth work on a case about a woman who was killed in an insane asylum. Lots of randomness and I think it's quite funny but I'll let you decide. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know you'll like this one, because I think it's so damn hilarious. Big thanks to thingsgetdamaged for helping me. I hope you enjoy this, because the more I write the weirder it gets, and the more reviews I get the more I write!**

"She's like the wind, through my trees…" Brennan leant her head against Booth's office door and giggled. The scientist never came to his office usually so he obviously wasn't expecting visitors. He continued to sing along to Patrick Swayze, unaware that anyone was listening. Brennan opened the door and walked in. Booth had his back to her with a set of headphones in. He had no idea she was there. "Feel her breath on my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league!" On the last note, which Booth squawked out, he spun his chair round and stopped in his tracks when he saw Brennan in front of him. Pulling his headphones out, he smiled and said, "Bones, what are you doing here?"

"I hate to interrupt your erm singing, but I've got a case for you," she told him.

"Whoa," he said standing up, "isn't that my line? Where've you got a case from?"

"My friend at the 'The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane' found a body in the grounds."

"You have a friend at the nuthouse?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, Dr. Jacob Sands. We were _friends _for a while, but we're not _friends _anymore."

"Bones, thy middle name is not subtle."

"What is that supposed mean?"

"Nothing. I mean of course you were 'just friends'" he teased with air quotes. "I don't know what that hand gesture means."

"No, Bones. Of course you don't, but right now that's not the most important thing on my agenda."

"Then can we go please."

"Are you just hurrying me so you can see your friend?" Booth laughed, leaving his office, "oh sorry, I forgot. You're not friends anymore."

"Hello. How may I help you?" a polite woman at the insane asylum asked. "We're looking for Dr. Sands," Booth told her, flashing his badge. "He's in his office over there," the receptionist answered, pointing to a door. Booth hurried over to the door, with Brennan dawdling behind him. He knocked on the door before entering. Dr. Sands sat at his desk flicking through papers and without looking up he said "How can I help you?" Booth's eyes widen at the man. He was considerably older than him and he had greying hair and frameless glasses. Dr. Sands looked up at Brennan and he seemed to be as shocked as Booth. The agent watched his partner as she stared at her feet, biting her lip. "Dr. Jacob Sands, this is Special Agent Seeley Booth," she introduced them. Jacob stepped around his desk to shake hands with Booth, but the latter just said "We'll need to see the body."

"Erm, of course you will. Right this way," he led them out of the door and through a series of locked gates. The trio stopped at a patient's room which looked like it had been torched. Automatically, Brennan pulled her gloves on and got to work, while Booth and Dr. Jacob just stood in the doorway. "So, you two were friends?" Booth asked and he could barely hold back his laughter as Brennan shot him a fierce glare. "Uh yeah. We were friends for quite a while."

"Was she one of your patients, because she can act crazy sometimes," Booth joked. "No. We met on a flight to Washington."

"So, was it love at first sight or…?" he began, but Brennan elbowed him hard in the chest. "Are you investigating the case or the doctor?"

"Mmmm, both."

"Booth! I want the remains sent back to the lab."

"But, what about the crime scene?"

"We can come back here later, for now we can use the pictures," she still sounded like she was warning him.

"I'm never going to forget this you know," Booth teased, as he drove Brennan back to the Jeffersonian. "There's nothing to forget. We were young and…"

"No, Bones. You were young."

"What?"

"He's like twice your age."

"No he's not. He's not even fifty yet," she protested, but Booth just burst into laughter again. "Why does is matter to you anyway?" she asked more calmly. "Why shouldn't it matter to me, Bones? I mean I am your partner."

"And you just want to protect me from old guys?"

"Aha, you admitted it!"

"Admitted what?"

"That he's an old man," he said, pointing out her comment. She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt too embarrassed. "Why'd you break up anyway?" he added. "Can't you just ask me questions about the case?"

"Fine," he sulked, "what did you find?"

"The skull was badly fragmented, but I think we got all of the pieces."

"Gender? Age? Anything like that?"

"Yeah, female, Caucasian, mid to late thirties," she answered, getting out of the car. "Good. I don't have a clue how we're going to interrogate the suspects though."

"What do you mean?"

"Bones, it's a loony bin. Loony people tend to get confused," he said, as they approached the examination table at the centre of the lab. "So how's Jacob?" Angela asked sweetly. "I didn't talk to him. Why don't you ask Booth?"

"Why would he know?"

"Because while I was working, Booth was busy questioning Dr. Sands."

"Did he miss you though?"

"Ange!" Brennan warned her, as she unpackaged the remains. Bits of skull rolled out everywhere and a few bits of broken bones found their way across the table. Zack set off to reconstruct the skull which Angela was waiting for, while Booth went to interrogate witnesses. "Now that everyone's gone, will you tell me what happened?"

"Hodgins is still here."

"Sweetie, how can he hear us from the other side of the room?" the artist asked her best friend. "I told you, all I did was introduce them."

"Does he still look good?"

"He's pretty much the same, except with a hint of grey."

"So when are you going to see him again?"

"We're going back later to check out the crime scene."

"Oooh."

"Ange, stop it! It was over years ago, I just want to get on with the case," Brennan almost shouted. The sound echoed through the Jeffersonian, alerting Hodgins. "Is everything okay?" he asked, swiping his card to enter the main lab. "Nothing. Everything's perfectly fine," Brennan gritted her teeth, as she headed towards her office with a tray of bones.

"Dr. Sands may I come in?" Booth asked, as he entered the man's office. "I just need to ask you a few questions."

"About my relationship with Temperance or…"

"No, I need a list of any missing patients and I'll need a list of witnesses," Booth requested. He watched the doctor write for a few moments, before accepting the piece of paper. "Chloe Mist."

"She was always trying to escape."

"What particularly was wrong with her?"

"She was obsessed with fire, used to set fire to anything and she had severe schizophrenia."

"If you don't mind I'd like to question some of your staff," Booth didn't wait for an answer, before leaving the room. As soon as he closed the door his cell started to ring. "Booth."

"_I've found a possible cause of death."_

"Hello to you to."

"_I'll need Hodgins to confirm my findings, but it appears to be an overdose."_

"Then why is the skull bashed in?"

"_I don't know, but that certainly isn't the cause of death."_

"I don't get it."

"_The skull was smashed post mortem."_

"I'll be right there, but Bones."

"_Yeah."_

"Next time it would be nice if you said hello," he said, hanging up. _This case is going to drag _he thought, heading towards the car park.

**Don't worry it gets better, so keep reading! And please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter and the next one are probably the best so far. I think you will be surprised by this one (couldn't resist writing it) and by the way, Trinity will make an appearance in this episode.**

"Okay. She was smashed into smithereens after she was killed," Booth repeated, "what about the fire?"

"I'll need to see the crime scene to know when the fire started," Brennan informed him, picking up the reconstructed skull. "And I needed to be here why?"

"I never asked you to come here, Booth," she explained. She traced the cracks on the skull with her fingers and slowly circled part of it that looked the most shattered. "Zack," she called her assistant over, "what do you think about the pattern of the wound?"

"It appears to have been made by a blunt object."

"The impact would have been spread over a large, flat surface area to cause so little interior damage," Brennan told Booth. He was wearing his usual confused look, but he had an idea of what they were talking about. "Okay Bones. I'm presuming we'll need Hodgins at the asylum."

"He should be able to tell us when the fire started and how it started."

"Well let's get going then."

"There appears to have been a fire," Hodgins joked, collecting some soot from under the bed. Booth placed one hand under the frame of the bed and slowly lifted it so it was flat against the wall. "Erm, Booth. Why did you feel the need to mess up the room even more?"

"Look," he said, pointing to some marks on the wall where the bed was leaning. "I don't think this is suicide."

"Yeah Bones, I already knew that."

"The impressions in the wall should give us an idea of the strength needed to force the bed up," she examined the bed frame carefully before turning back to Booth. "What is it Bones?" he asked. She just handed him a piece of paper.

_Dear Chloe, _

_I'll help you prove it one day, but these are my final moments. He will be here soon and he knows what we're trying to do and it won't be long before he gets you too. Burn this note after you read it, because in the wrong hands it could cause havoc._

_Amy M_

"Amy M," Booth said aloud, "I'll check the patient list for an Amy M. You can…do your thing." Brennan knelt down next to Hodgins to get a closer look at the imprints on the wall.

"Hey Elle," Booth spoke into his phone. Brennan paused in the doorway of her office. Her partner was sat on the sofa with a coffee and his cell in his hand. "I miss you too. I'm working on a case at the Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. And I thought the squints were crazy," he laughed. "No, she hasn't said anything out of the ordinary. But get this, she used to be with this psychologist who's nearly fifty." Brennan gritted her teeth. She couldn't believe Booth sometimes. After everything Trinity had done to him, how could he still love her? She had James now. Not that that stopped her from flirting with the agent. Brennan watched Booth for a moment until her cell started to ring. It was Jacob. "Brennan…oh Jake, hi."

"Temperance, I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Brennan glanced at Booth one last time before replying, "no, of course not. What can I do for you?"

Jacob opened the door to his scientist ex-girlfriend. She smiled and walked past him, into his apartment. "I hope I haven't caused any trouble between you and Agent Booth," he said as they sat down on the sofa together. "No," she replied quickly, "I mean, we're not together like that." Jacob smiled. "Jake," she said, "why did you invite me here?"

"Just for a chat. For old time's sake," he replied, "I just want to let you know that I'm here if you need me." Brennan nodded and he went into the kitchen to get some wine. When he returned, Brennan was putting on a CD. "Tempe?" he asked as he went in, "do you want some wine?"

"Sure," she said taking the glass and sitting back down on the sofa. By the time he'd joined her, most of her wine was gone. "You okay?" he asked. Brennan finished her wine and put her glass on the table. "You know," she told him, "you're a great guy." He started to blush. She smiled and walked over to the CD player. _Here goes nothing _she thought as she pressed play. "Dip it low, pick it up slow…"

"Tempe," said Jacob, in surprise, "this song…" She did a little sexy dance before sitting on his knee and putting his glass on the table. Then she kissed him. After all these years she couldn't believe how right it felt. Carefully she removed his glasses. He pulled away from her and for a minute she was worried he was turning her down. She soon realised he wasn't when he started to unbutton her blouse. Jacob smiled as he spotted the black and purple corset he'd bought her…

**A/N: Fairly self explanatory really. I hope you…enjoyed it. Please review and keep reading!**


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